So today has been a big day for me having to go for brunch with 14 people I have never met, this is a big thing for me when it comes to my anxiety and it is something which I managed to get through today (Dancing around my bedroom with happiness). Luckily I had a long-lost friend there so I did have someone I know a little bit, but not seen in forever, well 10 years. It made it a little bit easier to walk into the restaurant and not feeling as though everyone was looking at me.
So when I woke up this morning my heart was sinking at the thought of even having to go, I kept thinking to myself its ok you can just cancel, no-one will notice if you don’t go! But I kept thinking “no you need to do it, it will be nice to meet new people and people who enjoy blogging just as much as you do”. So I forced myself out of bed and into the shower, which isn’t an easy task at the best of times and I even managed to put some makeup on! For those who know me, will know I never wear makeup. But after getting ready and sitting with the coffee in my hand I thought ‘You can do this Vanessa!’… it wasn’t long before the anxiety started to kick in again!
I had to go and pick my old childhood friend (Samantha) from the train station and then make my way to the brunch, driving on the way I started to forget where I was going getting so worked up I started shaking. But I just kept telling myself you’re not far away now. I finally pulled up to pick Samantha up and well I felt a little bit shy at first but I have known this girl forever so just started to ease myself in with general chat and before I knew it was like we had never been apart (those are the best friendships)! Once we pulled up at the restaurant my heart was thumping and I could feel myself shaking. Luckily Samantha was on the ball and had an idea of who we was looking out for and got me to the right table, not that it would have been hard on my own, but once less thing for me to worry about.
The first 20 minutes consisted of me and Samantha talking to just each other as we had no idea what to say to anyone else and that wasn’t as hard as we thought as before we knew it we were joined into other people’s conversations and talking about all different types of things. I have never been made to feel so welcome by a bunch of lovely girls. Unfortunately I didn’t get to speak to everyone as the table was very long and well I couldn’t see everyone but even still the morning was nice and would like to think I have made some new friends and well got back in touch with an old friend.
Even though sometimes I don’t even like to eat especially in front of people I have only just met I was able to get some Eggs Benedict down me and it was beautiful, one of the best I have ever had. I would highly recommend going to the Seven restaurant if you are around the Derby Area.
But this morning has made me realise that I am still able to do things which are outside of my comfort zone and make me feel anxious I just have got to fight and challenge them! Some days will be easier than others but I can fight my way through this with some hard work and deterimation. I am not going to let anxiety stop me from doing something which I love, I will be able to be a ‘normal’ girl again at some point.
What have you done recently where you have had to overcome your anxiety?