I was going to name this post ‘staying positive’ but I don’t think this is something I could sit and write about in all honesty as this is something I struggle with day-to-day! But staying afloat is something I can help with as I find myself doing this most days until I’m back in my safe haven (my bedroom!).
Staying afloat can mean a lot to different people, for me it’s just getting through the day without anyone seeing the cracks I suppose! I know that I am not the same person I use to be and that I will be struggling for a long amount of time as of now. But I am able to try to get on with the day-to-day stresses and activities such as having a shower and going to work. Which sound simple to most people but I can tell you they are big challenges for me, it’s so big it’s like I’m walking to Scotland and back…… which is 100s of miles!
Looking from the outside you would think I am a happy bubbly person but it’s amazing what you can hide from the world, if you don’t want people to see this.
Staying afloat is a lot harder than it seems, sometimes it feels as though you’re in a boat sinking but your just chucking the water out with your bare hands trying to stop yourself from drowning. Something which isn’t so easy to do. But what most people don’t understand is that this is something we have to do all day every day, looking normal to the outside world. Don’t be fooled by our smiles and laughter, we are masters of masking the pain.
My silence is just another word for pain
You might be thinking well you don’t need to put a smile on just show us how your really feeling… it’s nothing to be ashamed of. But this isn’t really a choice it’s a must to be able to cope with everything we have going on. It can be anything from not feeling confident to hating yourself or just feeling out of control. For me I find pretending to be this happy person is something I am able to control….. I am such a control freak that’s for sure. Don’t ever be fooled by someone’s smile, it is so easy to fake after years of practice and most people suffering have suffered for years!
A good way to help yourself stay afloat is by setting yourself goals as this gives you something to work towards but don’t do anything too challenging as failing can make you feel worse…. trust me it’s not nice. When you fail you just beat yourself up and it becomes harder and you start to sink!
Depression feels like your drowning but you can see everyone around you breathing!
Try to stop the negative thinking… this isn’t as easy as it sounds. Plus it’s alright saying this when you haven’t got to do it yourself, but try to write down those negative thoughts and then burn or rip them up it will give you the feeling that your letting them go. If you don’t want to write then think of reasons why you should be grateful. I couldn’t do this easily and it allows you time to really think about your life! Just remember nothing lasts forever and the negative thought will pass and it just a negative thought! It will go just as quick as it came into your head.
So staying afloat is not something which is easy to be done but there are ways to try to help to stay afloat, don’t feel as though your on your own, there are thousands of people suffering with mental illness and they are still going and you can to!