Suffering with mental health a normal day is completely different to those who don’t suffer with this. So I am going to walk through a good normal day for me. Other people who suffer might have a completely different day as everyone is different and has their own triggers.
Starting the day I have to fight with my alarms and once I’ve decided to actually wake up the next challenge is getting out of bed this can vary from 30 mins to hours! It seems like the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced and I can tell you I’ve had some challenges in my life! Once I’ve dragged myself out of bed I then have to try to get myself ready this can vary… I tend to just throw on anything in front of me, not really caring what I look like or questioning everything I wear due to worrying what people might think. So this can take 1 minute or 1 hour. I use to be someone who loved makeup but now the thought of it makes me feel sick as I hate to even look at myself in the mirror. Once dressed no food for me just plenty of coffee to try to get me into a conscious state. Self care isn’t something I think much of so it can be a challenge to have a shower. I then have to make sure I take my medication so I can get through the day!
This can be very different depending on my mood, so it could be that I am none stop looking after family and friends so I don’t have to think about what’s happening inside my head. On the other side I could be sat in my bedroom hiding from the world and this is a good day never mind. Anxiety kicks in when looking through Facebook wondering what everyone is thinking about me. I start to question my friends and whether I should even speak to my family as I know they will just be judging me and yes that’s the people who love me, never mind those who don’t even know me! I may be able to get a sandwich down me, if I try to force some food down me. Even on a good day I can’t face food much. If I’m at work it is putting on my fake ‘smile’ and trying to be the bubbly person everyone wants to see, inside I am beating myself up. Thinking people are watching my every move, panicking incase a mistake is made, wondering if people actually like me but the worst thing of all is when the thoughts of why do I even bother as these can lead to the most upsetting and disturbing thoughts. You won’t understand this if you have never had these thoughts before.
So the evening is normally just me sat in front of the television watching but not watching television as I can’t concentrate on anything that is going off…. this is normally down to my mind racing and fighting not to do anything silly. Wondering what’s wrong with me! Thinking I am some crazy person. No dinner for me unless my friend has forced me to have something… there is no saying no to her that’s for sure. Then normally I will go to bed at around 9 and stay awake for several hours. Normally going to sleep at around 2/4 in the morning and then waking up early to go to work. If I am unable to get off to sleep I tend to sit and right down my feelings which can be a challenge within itself because as soon as one thought comes in, another is straight after (I am talking 0.00000002 seconds after). They are flying through as if they are running for their lives, which is how it feels for me sometimes, running away from my thoughts but this isn’t possible trust me!
This is just an idea of what a normal day for consists of on a good day. I have to say this doesn’t cover everything as this is just an average day. Each day can change due to the amount of sleep I’ve had, what I have dreamt about and even what I have coming up within the next couple of days/weeks.
I hope this has helped to see what a normal day can consist of for someone suffering with mental illness, as I have already mentioned this is a ‘good’ day. I will post soon all about what it is like on a bad day so keep your eyes pealed.If you have any ideas of something you would like me to post or any comments feel free to mention in the comments section.